I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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