I bet he comes in French.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
