His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
