with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
