Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
