I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
