Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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