She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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