Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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