Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
