coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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