I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
