you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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