and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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