Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
