someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
