her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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