Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
