this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
