How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
