Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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