Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
