Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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