Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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