i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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