Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
