Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
