New low: just hacked my moms facebook
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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