i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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