Define "chronic" masturbator.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I deserve this hangover.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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