One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
