Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Randomize
