i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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