I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
