Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm like, not good at living.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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