so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
