you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
