i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
