Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
