its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
