I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
