I'd wear matching sweaters with you
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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