small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I wear drunk well.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
