I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
