i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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