Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
