i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
