I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
