Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
