I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
