she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There's always time for handjobs
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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