you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
