I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
